Thursday, June 2, 2011

My Refuge.

This post will be just a bunch of random ramblings....
My temp dipped down and came back up this morning. Could be a coincidence, but I am MAKING myself be hopeful.

My temps are staying up higher than they ever have before. I got my progesterone/estrodial blood test yesterday and afterwards I got my first PIO injection. Im praying that my progesterone showed I had a strong ovulation, stronger than the U/S showed. Im praying that miraculously my follies grew big enough before releasing the egg. Or at the very least that the eggs were mature.

As far as "symptoms" go. Not much is going on. Sore/heavy boobs and a light cramping here and there. Mood swings like crazy, but all of these are probably a result of the hormones, and not pregnancy.

The doctor doesn't feel hopeful. But honestly, I definitely still have hope. Last night's sermon at church was like God speaking DIRECTLY to us. My husband definitely said that he feels that I will be pregnant more now than he did before. The sermon was on how God is our refuge in times of struggle. He will give us relief when we can't go anymore. Hubs took that as God sending us our blessing now, because we can't handle much more. I honestly am struggling with this.

I want so hard to believe that those thoughts and feelings of peace and just knowing this would be the month we conceived are still relevant.

But at the same time, I am really trying to protect my heart. I kind of feel that if God wants me to be pregnant, He will make it happen. So instead of worrying and all that, I have instead turned on the worship music, and that's how I'm spending my days. Listening to worship music, and praising while I wait. God has a plan, and even though I'm so terrified of how much longer I will have to wait, I will continue to praise Him.
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.

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