Friday, April 1, 2011

Trying to wrap my head around things

I am sitting here, thinking about the past 48hrs events. Surgery. Finding out I have stage 3 endometriosis.

I just CANT believe that we finally have "the answers". A year and a half after getting off of birth control and I FINALLY know without a shadow of a doubt that this is my problem. All this time, I thought birth control was the worst thing ever(and it DID effect me in some terrible ways), but it makes me wonder if maybe somehow unknowingly I saved my fertility. Preventing the endo from growing and getting worse. All this time that I havent ovulated, I wonder if God was saving my fertility. All those frustrating months, I wonder if this was all apart of His plan.

My mind goes to the thoughts that maybe just maybe, the past few years has been Him preventing my endo from spreading and getting worse because He knew I needed surgery. Has my "infertility" been His way of protecting me? I dont know. But I am eternally grateful that as far as we know, I should be able to conceive and soon.

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