So this week has been a super emotional one. Except I was able to successfully stuff my emotions til I woke up yesterday. But before I talk about yesterday I'm going to get straight to the point.
Shots start tomorrow.
So here we go, the emotional word vomit is coming.....
I'm nervous about the needles. I am scared about the "what ifs" I mean heck, this is freaking expensive. We have been blessed with the medication for this cycle, but then what?! How one earth will we afford more?? What if we do indeed end up pregnant, will we have multiples?! Will I be able to handle that?! What then? How will we afford that many babies?! I feel so much pressure, and I know I shouldn't. But there are SO MANY people praying and hoping for us and I feel that if I don't get pregnant I'm a disappointment to all of them in addition to already being a devastation to me and hubs. I know all of these emotions are "normal" but geez, I'm freaking out.
So yes. There you have it. My emotional vomit. All over your computer screen.
Ill wait for a moment while you clean that up....
All clean? Ok...
Back to yesterday, just had to get all that out there.
I woke up and I was in a tremendous amount of pain. Between my either broken or bruised tailbone and the severe gas pain under my rib which literally hurts so bad I can barely function(its irritating the nerve in my shoulder) I was miserable. So initially I was sobbing about the pain I was in.
That sobbing turned into an even bigger sob fest because all the emotions I have been holding in started coming out. I pretty much spent most of my day crying. I took a break for work(which only lasted 3 hours) and then got back at it. Took another break to hang out with friends, and yep you guessed it, started as soon as we left there. I cried until about 1am.
Today I feel a ton better.
I apologize for the all-overness this post seems to have.
I just have so much I need to get out there. My emotions feel crazy all over the place. Poor hubs.