God has been dealing with me pretty deeply this week. First off its been one week since I found out SIL is pregnant. I really really wanted to be happy for her. To be able to call her and congratulate her. I want to be as supportive and excited for her as I want others to be for me. So I spent twoish days crying, yelling at God, and all at the same time begging Him for the ability to be happy for her. On Friday I finally felt that I had the courage and ability to honestly say "Im happy for you."
Am I still 100% happy for her? No. Am I wanting to be constantly updated or hear about it? No. But I feel that God is breaking me down just a little bit more. Which from what I hear is a good thing.
She was so understanding it actually caught me off guard. She didnt know about the miscarriage, and I could tell it made her sad to think that her pregnancy is more than just frustrating for me, but also so very sad at the same time.
I have only let myself listen to worship music for a few weeks, but the day after I found out she was pregnant, I turned it off. I was pissed. That only lasted a couple of hours. And every time I have turned on KLove, I swear its like God is talking to me through the songs. I have pretty much broken down into tears every day on my way to work singing the songs that come on. Here are two that I cant make it through the song without sobs coming out!
Thank you readers for being just such a blessing to me. For validating my hearting heart and being there to listen to me vent and cry over everything that has been going on. YOU ROCK!
Once I reach 50 subscribers I will go ahead and do a giveaway!! So tell your friends to subscribe and one of you will win some pretty awesome goodies :D