The more I look into all of our options, the more nervous I start to feel about the magnitude of what we may be facing with my health and fertility.
If indeed I do have Endo (which to be honest I believe whole heartedly I do) the risks of the disease, and how it effects not only your health but fertility.
I have a dear friend who progressed very quickly, in February she had one spot, by june it had progressed to I believe it was level III and she is about to lose a tube due to the damage it has caused. That freaks me out to be honest.
Our stories are so similar, what if my tubes are destroyed? What if my ovaries have been severely damaged by this disease? What if unbeknownst to us, our only chances are through IVF?
I never in a million years would have thought that I would be facing the things I am right now. I have started to look into different choices in this journey that I never thought I would have to face. IVF vs Adoption. Hmm, the choice is so personal, so hard to make.
I know I really shouldn't worry about any of this yet, as we don't even have confirmation yet. Unfortunately I am one of those people who cant help but worry.
Last night I asked hubs a "would you rather". I proceeded to ask him if we were given $20,000 to use to build our family, would he rather spend it on IVF or adoption. Of course he said IVF, which normally wouldn't disappoint me. For some reason it did disappoint me. I would wanna do adoption.
I've never had the heart for adoption before. I never thought it would apply to me. I know the hubs wants to do everything in our power to have biological kids, and Im really not opposed to that and more than likely that is something we will pursue before adoption. But I have a feeling this is a choice we will have to make. All I know is, I am ready for a baby to love. Whether that baby comes from my womb or is placed in my arms.