Saturday, October 23, 2010

Onto treatment cycle #5

If you could see me right now, you would see a woman whose heart has been broken so many times. A woman who tries so desperately to put her best smile on when she goes to church, or the mall, or anywhere in public. A woman who tells her family she is great, who makes it seem ok. In reality, its not ok. I know deep in my soul that we will be parents one day, and that God has it. And thats not what these feelings are about. These feelings are just that, feelings. Feelings can and will lie to you. I try to remember that on a daily basis, but who doesn't get caught up in feelings? I know I do. Im sure you do too. Right now, Im trying so hard to get psyched for infertility treatment cycle #5. Im trying to look at all the positives such as I FINALLY ovulated this time, my progesterone was DOUBLE what it was the last time I ovulated in March...even though I still got af earlier than I should have...I just have to keep trucking and hope that they will adjust the progesterone support! This cycle is going to be our biggest yet, he mentioned three to six different medications, multiple ultrasounds and blood work, Im not exactly sure what the plan is, but I have an appointment at 2pm on Monday(cd 5) to discuss what we will be doing and start round five. I never thought when we started fertility treatments we would be doing them for so long. I realize this isnt as long as some women, but you just never expect it. I know God gave me and my husband the desire for kids, and I know He will be faithful. Sometimes what I know isnt what I feel, but thats when I just have to stop and pray and just realize that feelings lie....

1 comment:

  1. Amen! I'm sorry to hear your emotions are in overdrive this cycle praying that God gives you comfort as you move onto more treatment.


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