Thursday, October 14, 2010

Counting my blessings

So today I was chatting with my awesome friend J. She is pregnant with a precious little boy and he was diagnosed with trisomy 18. Her due date is 5 weeks away, and it breaks my heart to think that its possible that these are the last few weeks she has with her precious son. I wish I could fix it, make it better. You know whats funny is Ive never even met her in real life, but she has been there for me during this time of me trying to get pregnant. We may not speak as much as I would like, but she is a true friend and she lets Jesus shine through her. I can NOT imagine feeling my baby move, kick, respond to my voice just to know that chances are I wouldnt be able to watch him grow up, hear him call me mama, or see him take his first steps. Yes there is always a chance that Jesus could heal this little boy and he will surprise the doctors and it would be a miracle, but its more likely that his fate will be as the others before him. Those precious babies that were taken from us way too soon. God picked such an amazing mommy for Aiden. He is truly blessed to have her as his mom. I pray daily that God would continue to mend J's broken heart, and that he would continue to let His light shine through her and Aiden's story.

After talking with her, I have just been sitting here praying that God would help me to just remember all the things I have to be grateful for. Sometimes I forget to look at the glass as half full. I have an insanely amazing husband who has stood by me through all the doctors appointments, diagnosis after diagnosis, the tears, the anger, the mood swings, the obsessing, the pain. I have an amazing family, my mom has truly been such a blessing to me. She listens to me cry, gives me advice, tells me to get over it when I need someone to just be blunt with me, and prays for me. I have some of the most amazing friends a person could ask for. My friend K, she is such a prayer warrior and I can call her pretty much any time and she will stand in the gap when Im too weak to. Her kids are such a blessing to me. They love me, they give me kisses and we play together and they are very much how I hope my kids are one day. So sweet and just so full of Gods love! My friend A.B., she is a youth pastor in Texas. We dont get to see each other very much, but boy she is always ready to be there if I need a shoulder(over the phone haha) to cry on. She always reminds me that God has a plan, and she never fails to pray for me. My other friend S.W. she lives in this girl has just been with me 100% along the way. She knows the pain, she understands the diagnosis, the desire. She has always been there to pick me up when I fall down. She is such a blessing to me! And of course my friend M, she is seriously one of my best friends. She has been rooting for me since last christmas, she has prayed for me, and listened to me and I feel so lucky to have her as one of my friends. I will never forget my friend Savana, she was and always will be the inspiration for my life, she always showed me how to live life, and she loved God with all her heart. She was so excited we were trying for a baby, and I just know she is going to pick me out the best baby ever when its time :) I love her tons and miss her daily. And well of course we cant forget my dog, who loves me so much she literally flips out if I go to the bathroom and comes back into the room. She just loves being with me, loves to cuddle and gives me hugs and kisses. I love my dog. She is my baby! God has truly blessed me, and where as I dont have my baby yet...things could be so much worse. I know God has everything in control and it will happen when its supposed to. Thank you to my dear friends who have been there for me, I hope that I am able to bless you as much as you have me! Love you guys.


  1. Thank you, sometimes I just need someone to cry to and today you were really there for me. I hope and pray that when we come and visit in December Aiden gets a chance to meet one of the people that prayed with Mommy that she would get pregnant with him. I love you soooo much and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. God will give you a baby, in his own timing and way as long as you always have faith.

  2. Well Ashley, your post made me cry. It's all so true. Sometimes we do need to step back and find the things we SHOULD be greatful for, because there is usually a lot right in front of us to be greatful for.


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