Thursday, August 26, 2010

Rest In Peace Savana....

Today we laid to rest our beautiful friend Savana Riley. I knew it was going to be hard to go to the funeral today. Only one funeral that I have ever been to was as hard to go to and that was my best friend Amber's when I was 17. Today was incredibly emotional. Savana was 20 years old. She was an incredible person who touched many lives for Christ. Today during open mic this girl testified that she wouldn't be a Christian if it wasn't for Savana. Incredible. I wonder how many people that have been touched by Savana. I know for me, Savana was an incredible friend. She was full of joy no matter what the circumstances, always reminded me of the pure love and joy of Christ. She always knew that God had it under control, no matter what was going on. As I have been battling the infertility, I can be the first to say that I haven't been as trustful of Christ as I should have been. Im so ashamed. Thomas who was facing losing his other half, his faith never wavered. The whole funeral was incredibly sad. Not that funerals are happy or anything, but this was a different level of sadness. As we were sitting in the place where two months ago they were meant to say I do, watching Thomas broke my heart. He stood up and went up with his guitar, I knew what was coming. They were amazing worshipers of Christ and he was about to play to his bride. I broke, but nothing prepared me for what was about to happen...He started to play a song that he wrote for their wedding, for her. Then it hit me, this was the VERY song he played for us at our wedding last year. The very song I walked down the aisle to join my groom. I broke. I couldn't stop sobbing, I looked over to the love of my life and we just held each other and sobbed. That was the hardest moment for me as I realized he wrote that for her, and yet he was loving enough to share it with us. Wow. I will never in my life forget that song. It was so special to me, but today I realized its so much more special that I could ever realize. Thank you so much Thomas for sharing that song with us. Because of you and Savana...we have each other and that means EVERYTHING to me. I cant tell you how many times Savana and I talked about you guys getting married and how much she loved you. Seriously, it was an amazing love you two had. Your an amazing man of Christ and God has you. Many blessings coming your way, I just know it. WE love you!!!!!!
Savana, I will see you again one day. We will dance & sing together on those streets of gold. Thank you so much for being such an amazing friend and even more than that, a witness. You taught me how to be joyful no matter what the situation, always have a smile, and always reach out to those around me. I will never forget you!


  1. Such a beautiful story. I can only imagine how emotional this has been for her family and friends. I wish I had the faith that all of you guys have. My faith has been broken to many times to count over the course of two years. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how. Especially with the infertility part. It just feels horribly wrong to have this issue. I am not sure what He is trying to tell me with this situation. I suppose if anything...if people like you and Savana's Fiance can have as much faith as you do...there has to be hope for me yet. I am not sure when that faith will be restored for me. But I do have hope and that's a start.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. It has touched me deeply.

  2. You may or may not have seen these two websites, but I adore them and I thought that you might want something like this to read on difficult days:

  3. Thank you so much for posting those sites, I had seen the gives me hope but not the love gives me hope one :)

    I just want to let you know that I cried reading your comment, seriously. I could tell you so many things that I have faced, and I wont lie, its been hard. Sometimes I completely question what God is thinking, and the "why" factor is always something I struggle with. Ive cried, screamed, pouted, begged, ignored, and pretty much anything related to those actions to God. June was a dark month for me. I didnt get it, I felt so completely forgotten by God. I sometimes still do. Its a daily walk for me, I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself that even though this isnt fair, God has a purpose in all of it. Its making me stronger(even though I sometimes think Id rather NOT be stronger lol.....). I will be praying for you as I completely understand why you feel that way. I have been through so much ranging from abuse from family members to loss to infertility and infertility is the hardest thing I have ever faced, and sometimes I just sob uncontrollably and honestly the ONLY thing that calms me down is my husband praying over me to our Father asking Him for peace and healing for our broken hearts. It has happened more times than I can count, and I dont know that I will ever understand why, but honestly who am I to question God?


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