Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Navigating Emotions

Well last night me and my hubs had a moment. Well a few moments of just pure sadness and prayer. We got through it, but again we are wondering where to go from here. We found out that since my new doctor isnt apart of our insurance network, our yearly out of pocket costs is about $9500. They upp'd it from our normal $3500 deductible to $7000, and then the $6000 after THAT we have to pay 40% and only after that will we get things covered. We really cant afford that much right now. Im not sure what we will do, but right now its hard not to feel a little hopeless. Please pray for us as we try and figure out what God's doing, or at least what we need to do next....some days I feel like we will never be parents......


  1. Sweetheart… my heart is breaking for you right now I can’t even explain I had a quick sob to myself after reading your post and had to go away think about what to say. And truthfully I still can’t wrap my head around that fact that this is SOOO easy for most but sooo hard for others. I’m sure all the questions are screaming loud and clear for you these past few days. Why God? Why Us? Why does this have to be soo hard?

    I wish I had the answers for you I wish your health care system wasn’t so crap. I’m just so angry that you guys have insurance like this that just really lets you down. I don’t particularly like Obama but I do believe there is something to say about being able to go see the doctor whatever kind it may be without having to worry if you can cover the cost. I just don’t understand how the people that work at these insurance companies can sleep at night knowing they are doing this to families. Infertility is an illness plain and simple it is not a life choice it is an illness and should be treated the same way as any other illness. Sorry for my rant I’m just sooo angry for you right now, but I completely understand how forking out that type of money can really put a strain on your financial situation. I wish you lived close I want to give you a big hug let tell you everything is going to be okay.

    Sweetie the only other thing I can say is that I’m soo proud that you and DH had good talks about this and that you are trying to work things out between the two of you before proceeding wherever you may go from here. Keep your eyes fixed on upward regardless of what the insurance company says or what the doctors say or what whoever says He writes the book He finalizes your future and He is the only one that has the power to give you your hearts desires, fix your eyes on Jesus!

    I put together all the devotionals that I got from the Sarah’s Laughter I don’t think they do repeats on their devotionals so you wouldn’t get these ones even if you get on their mailing list. Please read them they are very encouraging and have a lot of scripture references in them for you. I hope the help you in the next few days when you’re trying to process all this overwhelming information. I apologize it’s not the best format but I just copy and pasted them out of my email so I can send them all as one file to you. If you have any issues opening the file please let me know.

    Here is the link for the older one I had in my email: http://www.easy-share.com/1911394043/Devotionals.pdf

    Here is the link to sign up for devotionals: http://web.mac.com/forbus/Sarah/Welcome.html

    Praying for you,

  2. I seriously cried reading your post, thank you. I really appreciate the support. Its overwhelmingly awesome. I downloaded the devotionals and plan on signing up. THANK YOU..you are amazing :)

  3. I think we have to blame the actual cost of healthcare. It should cost so much. Seriously. In some cases I can see where an insurance company would chose not to cover certain things. Like IVF being 15,000 dollars for the procedure and a couple of thousand for medications. I don't think it's so much forcing an insurance company to pay all of that for everyone but I think it's more important to lower the total cost of procedures and medications. It shouldn't cost 500 dollars for heart medication. Or several thousand for injectable fertility medications. That's the ultimate problem.

    I wish we could go straight to IVF. I really really do. Right now I am in limbo waiting to see if Clomid even makes me ovulate. I am losing hope already after all of the news we have gotten over the last 5 months.

    I like to say or think that seeing other people conceive with our same issues..give me hope but it doesn't. It was a miracle for those whom conceived with our same problems...doesn't mean it's going to happen for me. After this round of Clomid I am throwing in the towel. I am taking a couple of years off to focus on my life, husband, and home. God will provide us with a child one of these days. I have to believe that.

    I feel so alone in this. I am tired of the "did it work? did it? Please let it work! Dang it it didn't work...". It's sad, frustrating, and pretty much ruining my life.

    Because of the ridiculous cost of medical...we can't do anything but wait things out. That angers me.

  4. Oh hun, I just wanna say that your so right. It is the exorbitant cost of healthcare. Ugh, hopefully someday sooner than later there will be changes in laws that require fertility to be covered.

    I will be praying for you jennifer, this totally sucks butt. We have been on a break since April, and even though its nice to just not think about it....the reality is still there. I have good news ladies, Ill update in a new post.

  5. Jenn,
    I agree as well I think I was referring more to the basic medical cost like blood work ultrasounds etc. I have read a lot of people have issues with having this covered unless they pay an outrageous amount for a deductable. And the cost if outrageous your right, just take someone who needs a hip replacement surgery and how much money they have to pay out of pocket if their insurance doesn’t cover it. So all in all I agree the cost for procedures basic or advanced should really be reduced.
    I live in Canada and most of the basic stuff is covered by our province health plan. All the crazy test were covered and if there was something “wrong” the surgery would also be covered by the province. Of course we are still paying for this health care through our yearly taxes but at the end of the day when the procedures need to be done there is no asking “will my insurance cover this”. IUI and IVF are not funded in the province I live in. On the upside for me these things that are not be covered most employers offer cover through insurance health benefit plans they usually give you a set amount they will cover for things like dental or medications. I am very thankful that my insurance covers up to $15,000 of fertility treatment but when you look at how much IVF and IUI cost I know it’s not going to go very far.


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