Friday, June 18, 2010
warning negative post ahead....
Ok so I am trying so hard to be patient, persistent, and willing. But tonight, I am just a ball of tears. I seriously am so angry. I am SO SICK of this stupid diet. I feel like I can not enjoy summer at all. Walks on a hot summer day are normally treated with ice cream, mine is punished with bran. I cant go ANYWHERE without being bombarded by food. Good food at that. Im flat out miserable. I know I have lost 6lbs this week but I STILL cant seem to find anything related to this diet change to feel grateful for. I feel so sick, Im insanely dizzy CONSTANTLY, the food more than sucks, I cant go anywhere or do anything. I am really starting to regret my decision to try and lose weight. OH and while Im on this negative nellie train, let me add I HATE not being pregnant or not having a baby. If I hadnt of miscarried, I would freaking be about 12.5 weeks along today. I know it will come when its supposed to, but today I am just so FREAKING FED UP. I have NO idea why God wont give us a baby, but its just torture. I took a $tree test today and of course there was another freaking pink evap line to mess with my head. Lord knows Im not pregnant. I just took it cuz I have YET to have my period. I just wish SOMETHING would go my way. I feel like I have to fight for EVERYTHING. Not saying they arent worth fighting for, but really how many people choose this way to lose weight? I know its ok, Im not in any "danger"(I hope) but still, this is INSANE. I just feel completely hopeless and down about all of this. I need some prayers.
Posted by A at 9:02 PM